Non-scale victories

So many times I am hard on myself and jeopardize my success because I can never give myself a pat on the back, and even when people tell me I look like I lost weight, my response is usually something like this "Nope, not at all the scale says...xxx so that means I am not dropping", and what I am really thinking is yeah right, people just say that because they know how hard I work out, or I am with someone who has actually been losing weight and so they just have to add me into the comment so I don't feel bad.  And is this true, maybe? Who knows. I was watching Oprah's next chapter and it was a Tony Robbins special. He was talking about perspective and the way we chose to look at things and how we use our circumstances to hold us back/make us great.  Here is an example he used: A boy was given up at birth and moved from family to family, and he stated that he was not wanted because he was thrown away, he was later adopted and he said that same statement to his adoptive parents that he wasn't wanted, and his adoptive parents said, contrary to your belief you were extremely wanted and we waited on you.  It was so profound to me, he then asked the audience which one of those statements were true? He answered, whichever one you want it to be.  You see, the next time someone tells me I look like I'm dropping the lbs. I'm just gonna say "Thank you" and not over analyze where its coming from. 

I am also going to recognize the non scale victories.  So is the scale getting smaller, ummm...nope not at all.  But I am starting to see changes.  Last week I had to rush into the office and I just threw on some pants that I hadn't worn in a while, well if I recall correctly the last time I wore those pants the were fitting a little tight and when I put them on last week they were much looser.  I am also getting stronger on my workouts.  I am doing more push ups and lasting longer on rounds. So this is a good thing (as I am typing this my mind is saying...I'm still no pro and have a lot of work to go).  I have to stop down playing success, because success is what we make it.  No I am no where close to my overall goal, but yes I am making changes in my life. I can see the changes and I am pleased with them.  Small changes can lead to great success. So I am going to work hard to recognize all victories, both scale and non scale ones.

Struggling

Ok so I am struggling with my eating.  Weekends and portions are killing me! Friday evening through Sunday I just don't do right.  Friday I usually have a not so great dinner.  Saturday I usually have one big meal or two bad meals.  Sunday it's always one meal I don't always do so bad with what I am eating but I don't eat frequent enough.  I gotta get it together.  These are the things I need to work on:

1. Portions- why oh why do I have to eat everything on my plate.  I need to start practicing the golden rules. (Divide the portions from the beginning, Share meals, etc.)
 

2. Weekends count too- I know this, and I know it's not gonna change over night. So I am going to start with small changes. 

• Friday- Eat a well balanced dinner 500-700 cals.
• Saturday- Eat 3 meals...continue with the smoothies (they work well for me), and a balanced lunch and possibly splurge for dinner.
• Sunday- Same thing as Sat. However, I will have a piece of fruit for breakfast and a light lunch.

 I have to get it together, I can't fall off the wagon, not this time.

Baby Wishes

So I haven't posted in a while about my baby wishes and where I am in the process.  Well the truth is, I am terrified.  I don't want to be and I know I should be trusting in God more but I am still scared. I am scared of the negative results, I am scared of the money its gonna cost to try again, the money it's costing right now and where it's coming from and most of all I am scared that it won't happen with the frozem embryo transfer or that we keep having to do IVF. Deep down I know that God won't allow that to happen but on the surface, it's hard to cope with and I know He will only give you what you can bear but I am not doing as well as I would like.

I was reading the daily word yesterday and it was talking about stop trying to fix everything yourself.  I felt like was speaking to me.  This is what I try to do; fix things. I've done some crazy things in hopes of "fixing" my infertility issues.  Besides planning on my ovulation dates, I've even done things like taking Chinese herbs, eating pineapple cores and the list goes on and on. I don't like the feeling of desperation.  However I can't accept that it won't happen.  So I know I need to strengthen my faith and trust God's will more and more. It's coming and I can feel myself growing which is good but I don't have warm and fuzzies about the whole baby thing yet, not fully.

A+ Results

So I was talking to my sissy a few days ago, who was discouraged about her weight loss journey.  The more I was talking to her the more I felt like I was listening to myself.  She was telling me that she was discouraged because she's been making more of an effort than she has ever made towards weight loss.  She started working out more, and eating better but her results have been slow or reversed. Then she said the sentence that I live to say "I mean my eating hasn't been perfect but I expected better results".  This is what I always say "My eating isn't perfect but........".

See why do I expect A+ results when I am giving B- or C work.  I know I am not perfect and this thang (journey) is hard, but why am I so hard on myself when I don't drop these lbs. like I want.  I mean the saying has been true for years "You get out what you put in". So I have to make a choice to either give A+ work or not be so hard on myself when I get B results. I think I will do a combo of both.  I'll try to give it my all and when I don't I won't beat myself up about it. I'll just pick up and move on to the next A+ week.

19 Months-Statistics

So I am a little over 5'10 tall  (not quite 5"11 but close) and statistics say that an average healthy person my height weighs around 160-180 lbs.  Statistics also says that an average healthy weight loss is 1-2 lbs a week. So doing the math it is going to roughly take 10-19 months (I am aiming for 19 months) to get to the healthy weight of 180. So as much as I've tried to get away from goal setting, I believe that this is a realistic and achievable goal and timeframe. So I have about 19 months to get myself together, whether I get pregnant or not I am dropping these pounds. No magic, no crazy diets, no extra workouts just the basics. Eat healthy, less processed foods, more veggies and fruits, minimum fried foods, and exercising 3-5 days a week....just the BASICS!

Imma do this!

So lets get the clock to ticking.