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Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Dealing with dissapointment in IVF

So for the most part I've gotten over the fact that we didn't get pregnant.  Now we are at the stage on what to do next. When we had a post consult with the doc., he informed us that we would go through a series of blood testing to see if anything came up with the reason we lost our embryos (such as genetic factor, killer antibodies cells, etc.). Well my blood work is back and nothing came from it, well nothing that contributed to the miscarriage (so they called it).  How frustrating is that? So now we decide to use our last embryo and pray for the best. It is so scary. I have so many mixed feelings. I mean I really, really want a baby, however I don't want to make any unreasonable financial decisions.   But the money that is going into this is scary, plus this is money that we don't really have.  This has really been a test of faith.  Even though I am scared and anxious.  I don't understand fully, but I am trusting God.

The more days go by the more I understand that this is not really about my infertility issues.  This is about my faith.  I need to learn to trust God through all my decisions, through every facet of life.  I have learn to be ok with what I can't control and trust that God will deliver on His promises.  So while I am not 100% there, I am praying and believing and learning more and more to trust God.  Thank You for this revelation. 

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